My Reaction When I Find Out The Shelter Kitchen Will Be Serving Bean Burritos For Lunch That Day:

Guess it's time for me to go shoot body spray up my nostrils so that everything smells like lavender for the rest of the day.

When The Day You Start Your Diet Ends Up Being The Same Day You Have To Call 9-1-1 Over Ten Times At Work:

Just a heads up folks, I will not be posting on Wednesday and Friday as normal. We will get back to all the Case (Un)Managed fun on Sunday (4/12)!

When You're Promised Snacks At Your All-Staff Meeting And You Arrive To Find Carrots And Celery Sticks:

Why You Only Want Qualified Volunteers In Your Shelter's Kitchen:

My Culinary Ability After Working 11 Hours Solid In Crisis Management:

The Only Reason A Case Manager Or Advocate Is Excited To Go To A Fancy Fundraiser Dinner:

I'm sure I can get a few more of these crab-balls in my purse! What? It's not like I can afford these on my salary!

What Your Clients Often Express Feeling Like After You Have Implemented A New "Healthy Meals" Plan In The Shelter:

Being homeless is stressful enough as it is. Just let them eat cake. Seriously, give them some cake and a fork.

When, After Working A 50 Plus Hour Week At A Homeless Shelter, Your Friends All Excitedly Want You To Go With Them To Volunteer To Serve A Meal At One:

"But I just... but this is what I do every day... *disgruntled sigh* Fine."

How You Eat After Working Ten Hours Straight With No Breaks And Only Half Of a Granola Bar For Sustenance:

If you want to talk to me while I eat, fine, but I cannot be blamed for the carnage you are about the witness.

We All Have Our Own Coping Strategies For Stress At Work:

When A Politician Claims To "Love Children" But Then Votes To Cut Funding For Food Stamps And WIC Programs:

So you love kids... but you don't care if they eat or not. Hmm...

Why You Should Never Go Grocery Shopping After A Full Day Of Crisis Management:

The next morning: Can anyone tell me why I bought three pounds of mint leaves and an entire flat of Go-gurt?

When One Of Your Board Of Directors Members Wants Free Tickets For Their 20 Family Members To Your Annual Fundraiser Luncheon:

You do realize how a fundraiser works, right?

When You Ask Your Currently High Client If He Or She Understood The Instructions To Get Their Name On The Housing List:

So... that's a no...

When You Are Hangry Because You Didn't Get A Break To Eat Your Lunch Before Four In The Afternoon:

When You Have To Explain To A Politician In An E-mail Why Cutting Funding For Free Meals For Elementary School Kids Is A Terrible Idea:

I usually have to write political advocacy letters and e-mails four times, the first three drafts would probably get me on the FBI's watch list.

What You Feel Like At Work After Cup of Coffee Number Five: