When The Client You Picked To Talk To A Group Of Board Members Shows Up Super Drunk:

Please don't take away my funding... and I'm sorry he threw up on your shoes.

When You Tell Your Currently Plastered Client That You Were Able To Get The Detox Van To Come Pick Them Up:

It's Usually Pretty Easy To Identify Which Of Your Clients Left The Empty Bottle Of Everclear In Your Restroom:

"How did I know it was you? How about the fact that you just made friends, face first with that wall and your breath could take the paint off of a car? Sitting down might be a good plan right now."

There's Always That One Coworker At The Annual Staff Party Who Has Just A Bit Too Much Of The Complimentary Wine:

"But the drinks... the drinks... are ffffffree."