The Moment When You Realize Your Alcoholic Client Leads A Far More Exciting Life Than You, And That's Not A Good Thing:

When You Walk Through The Lobby Of The Shelter And Suddenly Smell Alcohol:

Alright, who has the beer?

What I Imagine My Clients Are Seeing Sometimes While On Ecstacy:

How New Interns Often Respond To Intoxicated Persons:

When Your Severely Alchoholic Client Finally Says "Yes" To Treatment:

Is this real life?

What Trying To Get Out Of Drug Addiction All On Your Own Usually Ends Up Being Like:

It's really okay to ask for help, addiction is tough!

When Your Intern, Who Was Super Sheltered Their Entire Life, Ends Up Walking Into A Group Of Clients Telling 'This One Time When I Was Drunk' Stories:

Yes, he did stick a traffic cone on his head and tried to 'unicorn butt' a police officer, that happened.

When You Remind Your Clients That They Can't Smoke Pot Or Drink While In Case Management Appointments:

When The Client You Picked To Talk To A Group Of Board Members Shows Up Super Drunk:

Please don't take away my funding... and I'm sorry he threw up on your shoes.

When You Tell Your Currently Plastered Client That You Were Able To Get The Detox Van To Come Pick Them Up:

It's Usually Pretty Easy To Identify Which Of Your Clients Left The Empty Bottle Of Everclear In Your Restroom:

"How did I know it was you? How about the fact that you just made friends, face first with that wall and your breath could take the paint off of a car? Sitting down might be a good plan right now."

When A Client Tries To Sneak Past You With Obvious Contraband In The Shelter:

Really, you thought the box of wine would go completely unnoticed under your shirt?

Prepping For A Gathering of Social Workers:

When Your Client Calls Over The Weekend And Leaves You 18 Drunk Messages On Your Office Phone Because They Can't Remember When Their Appointment Is:

You have 18 new messages!

*Beep!*

This message was left yesterday at 1:20 am: "Heeeeeey. Itsh me. Jusht wanted to check in annnd make shure my appointment washn't today... guesh I'll call back latersh..."

*Beep!*

This message was left yesterday at 2:34 am: "Heeey... do we havesh and appointmentsh today? I can't *burp* remember..."

There's Always That One Coworker At The Annual Staff Party Who Has Just A Bit Too Much Of The Complimentary Wine:

"But the drinks... the drinks... are ffffffree."

When Your Client Calls You And The First Words Out Of Their Mouth Are, "I Shware I Haven't Been Drinkin:"

You mean you "Swear you aren't drinking right this second, right?"