When One Of Your Board Of Directors Members Wants Free Tickets For Their 20 Family Members To Your Annual Fundraiser Luncheon:

You do realize how a fundraiser works, right?

When A Client Suddenly Announces That They Have Decided To Stop Taking Their Anti-Psychotic Meds Because They "Taste Funny:"

*Sigh* Well, tell the voices in your head hello again for me.

When It's Your Turn To Take Home The Shelter Crisis Phone And A Client Calls At 3 AM To Tell You They're Hungry:

Anytime My Clients See Me Wearing Anything Nicer Than Jeans And A T-Shirt:

It's called a dress. I am female and mainstream society allows me to wear them. Go away.

When People Keep Popping Into Your Office To Ask If The Grant Proposal You're Working On Is Done Yet:

It would have been done, but instead I've stopped and talked to ten people!

What It Sometimes Feels Like Trying To Motivate Clients Towards Positive Goals:

When Your Client's Excuse For Not Going To Court Is, "But It's International Talk Like A Pirate Day!"

Ahoy! Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day to ye!

If ye need some readin' material, unfurl yer sails and head for Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor!

What Trying To Figure Out What Your Client Actually Needs Sometimes Feels Like:

Wait, do you need a new ID card, a marriage license or a divorce certificate? How can you need all of them!?

What Staff Do Whenever There's A Community Group Touring The Agency:

When You Are The Only One In The Office Who Can Figure Out How To Get Clients Through The New Housing Form:

What It Feels Like When You're Asked To Cover Another Case Manager's Caseload On Top Of Your Own:

Sure! I'd love to take all their clients while he/she on vacation, right after you figure out how to clone me!

When You Ask Your Currently High Client If He Or She Understood The Instructions To Get Their Name On The Housing List:

So... that's a no...

It's Called Job Security:

What Happens When You Set Unrealistic Goals For Your Grant Outcomes:

When You Find Out The Staff Retreat Is Going To Be Held Over The Weekend In Someone's Backyard:

So I get to spend all Saturday listening our Executive Director talk about "teamwork" and tell their personal life story again, and there will be no alcohol. Oh goody.

Why I Now Refrain From Asking How My Clients Ended Up In The Hospital For The Fourth Time That Month:

 Am I going to see your injury on the news? Then don't tell me, I hate spoilers.

When A Grant Requires That You Fill Out A Two-Page Form Every Time You Give A Client A Bus Pass Worth $1.50:

"What is your client going to use this item for?" To ride the bus.
"Will you have confirmation and documentation that your client used this item for its intended purpose?" No, but if they come in tomorrow with a stomach ache and orange ink around their lips and a warrant, we'll know that they didn't use it for its intended purpose.